In the demanding world of high-achieving professionals, leading a team and dealing with difficult individuals can often feel like an uphill batttle. The stress and exhaustion that result from theses challenges can leave you with no energy for completing your projects or the demands in your personal life. If you’ve found yourself frustrated because your team members aren’t performing as you’d like them to or they’re engaging in behaviours that drive you up the wall, you’re not alone.
In this blog, we’ll explore the 10 sabotage patterns that can bring out the worst in us and in others that can leave you feeling drained. This typically happens when we are stressed, anxious and overwhelmed. We’ll also delve into the importance of strengthening the 3 core mental muslces to develop resilience so you can adapt and effectively handle setbacks.
What’s equally important is to recognize that it starts with you. You as a leader and manager need to tackle the battlefield in your own mind in order to be happier and be in peak performance which increases your well-being and improves relationships.
The 10 Sabotage Patterns:
1. Avoider: Sometimes they resist new ideas, processes, or initiatives if they feel it is going to cause unnecessary tension and friction from others.
2. Perfectionist/Stickler: Look at things as right or wrong and are always striving to improve things but afraid of mistake and may feel impatient and get annoyed.
3. Pleaser: Wanting to help, they may take on more work and then feel resentful that they sacrificed so much time and effort. Often they lose sight of their own needs.
4. Hyper-Achiever: They are ambitious and status conscious and when stressed, they may become competitive and work harder losing sight of working together as a team.
5. Victim: They are sensitive, quiet and can be moody in order to fit in or do a pre-emptive strike so they are not rejected.
6. Hyper-Rational: They are very logical and can be very independent and innovative. Sometimes they appear aloof in order to feel they are under contol of what is happening.
7. Hyper-Vigilant: They need to feel safe that this new change is beneficial. If not, they may become contrarian or fearful to change.
8. Restless: They don’t want to get it wrong so they keep coming up with more ideas to implement and not commiting to anything.
9. Controller: As a powerful, confident and dominating type, when stressed need to control their enviroment and become confrontational and even aggressive to get things done.
10: Judge: We all have this sabotage pattern. We constantly berate ourselves, others and the situation. This is the main instigator for our anxiety, disappointment, shame, guilt and resentment.
The Importance of Strengthening Mental Muscles:
To effectively address these sabotage patterns and maintain your well-being as a high-achieving professional, it’s crucial to strengthen your 3 core mental muscles:
1. Positive Intelligence (PQ): Developing your PQ brain enables you to understand and manage your own emotions while empathizing with others. Just like going to the gym daily to work on your muscles, developing this skill through various exercises can help you defuse conflict, build rapport and build a positive work enviornment.
2. Weaken Sabotage Patterns: The sabotage patterns of your brain have had a good workout for years and even decades. They can can be weakened by becoming aware of the 10 sabotage patterns and how they don’t serve you.
3. Strengthen Your Intuition: Your intuitive mind is where your creativity, imagination, joy, peace, calm, ease and flow can be accessed to meet every challenge. There are 5 powers within your intuitive mind that you can access and boost whenever you need to.
Weakening Your Sabotage Patterns:
Follow my WARRIOR method below for practical steps to help you weaken the sabotage and begin the process toward positive intelligence.
W – Wait What? When the avoider, pleaser or contoller appears, you interrupt the pattern with saying: wait what?
A – Pay Attention – Pay attention to what you are thinking? What are you thinking, what are your thoughts?
R – Reflect – What sabotage pattern did the thinking evoke?
R – Reaction – What are you feeling? What negative emotions are bubbling up? How did you respond or react?
I – Intention – What is your intention? What do you really want?
O – Observe – Where did you feel the feelings or emotions in your body?
R – Reward – Reward yourself for catching your sabotage pattern and what your thoughts, feelings and actions were as a result.
As a high-achieving professional managing a team and dealing with difficult individuals, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and stressed at times. However, identifying the 10 sabotage pattterns and focusing on strengthening your own positive intelligence, weakenng your sabotage patterns and strengthening your intuition can empower you to handle these challenges effectively.
Reemember that building these 3 muscles to increase resilience is an ongoing process. By learning how to develop the strategies necessary to become mentally fit will help you become a more effective leaders and regain the energy and balance needed to enjoy a fulfilling personal life. Embrace the journey of self-improvement, and you’ll find yourself better equipped to thrive both in you professional and personal spheres.